Excitement around the joint was obscure today - about as obscure as real eggs, steak, soda pop or peace and quiet in here - with one exception...talking on the phone to my baby, my wife G. She always can bring out hidden passions in me, like no one else. I suppose that comes from our past together. After the call, I got 5 miles in around the track, and had a regenrating hot shower, where I thought about my wife even more since we always used to shower together.
You'd think that I was a celebrity in this place because the guys all want to know me. I really don't care for the attention because so many of the men here are living in an alternate reality. I suppose that it comes with incarceration - fabricating and exaggerating one's "illustrious lifestyle" prior to their current unfortunate present incarceration. Of course, these former big shots don't get mail, don't have anyone to call, and are always begging cigerettes, etc from me. A great number of the men here tend to overrate their previous staus in their respective communities in order to obtain favor and have their egos massaged by the so-called big shots around this joint. Personally, I think that it is a waste of time and energy. Who cares what antoehr prisoner thinks or admires in the material realm? This is the very thing that got so many of us in here. I am so tired of hearing so much bullshit! I'll be so happy when I leave this joint for home! I will be so happy to hear my wife ragging on me about this or that because it is much better than the crap I'm dealing with now!
That woman can really get to me sometimes, but I'd much rather hear it form her than to hear it from these idiots in here. I remember a time when my wife was ragging on me about somehting I had done, or didn't do - I still don't know, but I know she had my blood pressure boiling! I was so damn mad that I attempted to provoke her by screaming obcscenities at her. I guess the reason I go so made was that I was unsuccessful in my attempts to pick a fight. She was using 'chology on me - aka PSYCH'cology. We were outside about to go somewhere in our car when the argument took place.
Me: Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!
Wife: I'm not a bitch.
Me: Ho!
Wife: I"m not a whore.
Me: Pussy ass bitch!
Wife: Yes, I do have a pussy, but you won't seeing it any time soon.
I became so angry that I threw my bottle of beer down and broke it on the cement, which gave her fodder to begin mocking and taunting me...
Wife: (imitating my voice in a childish way, doing a mock internal monologue) "Well, I'm just gonna throw my beer down and break it on the ground - that will show her."
Me: Fuck you bitch!
Wife: I've already explained that won't be happening.
me: Asshole!
Wife: I don't think so.
After this last exchange, we got into the car, and I was gonna get her by giving her the silent treatment, but she won't let me. She's really pushing my buttons, and worse yet, she's winning the argument. She made me feel like that g-damn doctor did when he put his finger in my ass and wanted to talk to me while he was doing it.
Wife: (imitating me again) I'm not talking to you, I'm just gonna sit here and be mad!
Me: Hey look, don't say anything to me before I kick out your fucking belly button!
Wife: And why would you want to do that?
Me: I don't want to talk to you!
Wife: Well dear, we're going to have to talk sooner or later, it will go better for you if you just accept it now. (shades of the doctor and his finger in my ass again).
Me: I don't have to do a damn thing except be black and die!
Wife: Well that is true, but why are you so angry?
Me: I'm done talking, just talk to the steering wheel or something!
I tell you the truth, that woman has a way of dealing with me like no other. It probably comes from her elite ivy league education, where they learn all that right wing politically correct bullshit. On the other hand, there's just something that I love about the woman that makes me a sucker for her. Maube its the way she talks, or maybe the way she wears her hair. Maybe it's her appearance of innocence and inexperience that turns me on, but all in all, I think she's a good woman, rarer than rubies.
I've said enough for one day - perhaps I can go fiind the Acting Resident Unit Supervisor and pick a fuckin' fight with her!
R.
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